Posted by: Jim Laurie | November 23, 2010

I Get No Relief!

I have had a low level depression since my early thirties. I was prescribed every anti-depressant known to man but never got much better. Five years ago, i weaned myself off as I wanted to see what was underneath after taking my meds for so long. At first, I didn’t feel any different but after about 6 months, I was a wreck! I went to a new doctor that I knew and trusted and for the past 5 years we have been able to manage my major symptoms but I have been left with what’s called chronic anhedonia – inability to experience pleasure or joy. It’s like being dead while you’re alive. I feel NO pleasure and NO joy. Sometimes, I don’t think I feel anything at all! It’s horrible. We have tried every medicine and nothing has worked. I even traveled to Canada and did Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation without results. Then I traveled to Houston for Ketamine treatments with no results. Then I worked with a doctor in Dallas who does amino acid therapy – no results. We are now playing with thyroid medis but I don’t expect much from that either. I can’t give up hope or I would have to find a way out – a permanent way out. But after 5 years, I am slowly losing hope. I’d like to turn to my faith, but I can’t feel God either. I suffer every single day and don’t know if or when it will end. Will I live the rest of my life feeling this way? I can not begin to imagine that. I have not been able to find a Depression Group in my city. I need to know someone who knows what I am dealing with. I just need someone to know!

Source: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Battle-Depression/1262007

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